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put me back in school, i forget everything. [27 Apr 2007|05:49pm]
[ mood | calm ]

free-writing exercise
a list of what i like/what makes me happy:
edited 08.20.08

  • getting it all out there
  • a great melody
  • a great movie ending
  • the idea of romance
  • dancing in my room (in heels, in my underwear, freely)
  • laughing until i can't breathe at something ridiculously unfunny to others
  • singing off key
  • making people happy
  • catwalking
  • the balcony
  • sleeping
  • lying in bed and thinking
  • teddy arthur mcbear
  • taking the day off
  • being good with dates
  • facials
  • makeup (MAC especially!)
  • being complimented on my makeup
  • pedicures
  • pampering
  • intelligence
  • making and drinking smoothies
  • being gentle with things
  • annoying others that have been mean to me
  • sticking up for my friends
  • small gestures of kindness
  • making myself smile while i cry
  • laughing after i cry
  • youtube
  • free things
  • wishing i lived in the 60's
  • someone knowing what im thinking without me having to say a thing
  • the sound of rain hitting a window
  • proving me wrong in a good way
  • being satisfied with what i write
  • closing my eyes and flaring my arms
  • making my mom laugh
  • thinking about the future i want (and will have)
  • a good ringtone
  • freddie mercury's entire being
  • doing something really gross when i'm alone, and laughing about it to myself
  • planting a new flower
  • electronica
  • church
  • finding money
  • walking barefoot in the rain
  • the way my hair feels, even when it's nappy or needs to be washed
  • being comfortable with being close to someone
  • sincere compliments
  • looking at guys' crotches when they're not looking
  • not caring
  • being accepted for being myself
  • the possibility of being completely happy without any qualms or interference
  • getting a deep pimple out of my skin
  • chewing on broken fingernails
  • the way my legs feel right after they've been naired
  • how good my tits could look when i have on just the right top with just the right bra
  • thinking i've hidden my curves
  • finding something on tv i would never have thought to watch before and enjoying it
  • the way bath and body works candles make my room feel
  • being clever
  • correcting bad grammar
  • being jealous to the point where i want to make myself better
  • making everything a competition
  • being vulgar
  • being okay with dancing by myself in a crowd
  • the way braids feel
  • huge hoop earrings
  • listening to a song on an acoustic guitar, and then imagining a boy playing it for me
  • when a gay man is saucy, brandon and darrin in particular
  • brandon in general, and having serious talks with him
  • thinking about how good it would be to own a tambourine and maracas
  • sitting outside with a cigarette and a thunderstorm
  • trying to feel the wind against every hair on my body
  • telling my friends positive things about them and meaning it whole-heartedly, even if they dont believe it
  • discovering new music
  • feeling sexy
  • singing oldies music at the top of my lungs in my room
  • queen's "radio ga ga" live aid performance
  • "girl, interrupted", even when i'm sad
  • reminiscing (in particular with crystal, yessika, and lauren)
  • queen elizabeth i
  • thinking i was someone famous or a princess or a gay man in a past life, since it would explain so much
  • thinking about the days my mom won't have to work so hard anymore
  • thinking about the time my brother and i could be friends instead of just brother and sister
  • movie commentaries
  • how the shins make me think about happy memories of freshman year
  • trying not to fall off the balcony as i reach for rain falling off the roof
  • learning something new
  • the way my glasses make me look smart
  • having imaginary crushes
  • brooklyn, new york
  • accomplishing something
  • getting an internship
  • knowing that people actually like my writing
  • calling sufjan stevens "soupjohn steevo"
  • never remembering a name, and thus making up a new one
  • remembering small details of long ago (even though i forget what i said five minutes ago)
  • indie music
  • people who are comfortable within themselves
  • fat women who carry their weight well
  • girls who are uniquely pretty
  • guys who are unconventionally hot
  • chubby guys with chubby cheeks and nice lips
  • tall guys with a swimmer's built
  • snail sex
  • desserts
  • chocolate
  • seeing people in love
  • watching fat people dance well
  • laughing at white girls that can't dance at all
  • hanai mori butterfly perfume
  • knowing that i am and will always be prettier than gidget
  • 8-9am when i'm alone in the office
  • when i ride the golf cart and think about nothing
  • smoking
  • how nothing can compare to a bali hai
  • when i love my mom so much, i start to cry
  • thinking of nice things to do for people, even if i dont follow through
  • being creative
  • being artistic
  • not being told what to do
  • being mean when its appropriate without any apologies
  • believing in myself
  • sleeping naked
  • walking around the apartment in heels, shorts, and a halter top
  • relieving myself
  • that feeling i get after finally taking a shower
  • being nosy when i see the police
  • being trusted
  • giving a massage
  • getting a massage
  • knowing more than someone who thinks they know everything
  • being humble
  • being loud
  • being quiet
  • being in a club
  • being alone
  • being satisfyingly obnoxious
  • being understood
  • a great soundtrack/mix
  • giggling
  • say something that only i can hear and understand
  • centaur font
  • my writing notebooks
  • having strokes... of genius!
  • uncovering something wonderful i forgot i had written/done
  • being remembered
  • a man's sexy singing voice
  • being fascinated by the obscure
  • making someone feel better about their self
  • talent
  • being silly
  • being random
  • being spontaneous
  • making up songs
  • having great movie ideas
  • imitating someone
  • flirting
  • pretty eyes
  • smelling good
  • an infectious laugh
  • appreciating the little things
  • clean bathrooms
  • rooms that i can think in
  • curly hair
  • making lists
  • meeting new people
  • stalking/spying
  • funny comments on ontd
  • wasting time, but with something that was worth it
  • having fun with friends
  • thinking about how awesome my friends are, even when i hate them
  • being over something and meaning it
  • silly words like "superfluous" and "foible" and "chotsky"
  • not running out of things to say
  • decorating
  • being glad i didnt throw something away
  • making a mess, and then whining about how much i dont want to clean it
  • cooking for others
  • my black jackets
  • paintings
  • making friends
  • dresses
  • getting away with something
  • surprises
  • presents
  • having a good surprise for someone
  • cool icons and layouts
  • crystal when she's hilarious, and more like me than she thinks
  • kathy playing the guitar
  • lauren standing up for herself
  • yessika being my idol
  • tonya genuinely caring about someone/something
  • darrin making sure people are happy, and being an old-fashioned romantic
  • jose when he's nice (which is a majority of the time)
  • having an awesome away message
  • singing at the top of my lungs in a car with the music up
  • things being in order
  • the sims
  • successfully making a dollar stretch
  • the colors blue, yellow, orange, green, and purple
  • colorful things
  • funky things
  • open gays
  • drag queens
  • gay porn
  • bears
  • sitting in the passenger seat and smiling at other motorists
  • screaming bad things out the window
  • the way a cigarette makes me feel after i havent had one in a long time
  • taking a good picture
  • knowing movie lines by heart
  • dvds
  • cute kids
  • smiling and laughing babies
  • getting completely naked the second i close my door, and staying that way until i have to leave or someone comes over
  • doing my eyeshadow well
  • the way the morning smells
  • 4-6 pm in the winter, 5-7 pm in the summer
  • full moons
  • believing in magic
  • dancing when im drunk
  • being a successful procrastinator
  • my handwriting
  • having espn
  • getting a deal or bargain
  • cursing
  • getting my back scratched
  • the breakdown of songs
  • using a british accent
  • pretending im someone else
  • digging my nail into the paper seal around a bottle cap, and going all the way around it in a perfect circle
  • awesome quotes
  • impressing myself
  • proving someone wrong
  • being right
  • last.fm
  • making someone comfortable around me
  • offering someone something and having them take it
  • the trinity: edgar wright, nick frost, and simon pegg
  • afros
  • the way my eyes look when i pull my hair back
  • making weird noises and faces
  • eyeliner
  • my sunglasses
  • believing that my shades are really my invisibility cloak
  • grooving
  • finding out that i'm smiling
  • being completely done with something, but still going back to look at it over and over
  • when people are on time
  • getting lost, but finding my way
  • scratching the inside of my ear with a hair pin
  • typing fast without looking, without error
  • remembering an idea i thought i'd forget
  • giving good advice/pep-talks
  • things that are delightfully tacky
  • laugh attacks
  • scaring people
  • dancing in the car
  • collages
  • painting
  • memes
  • finding food
  • going out for coffee
  • i-bar
  • making it under the wire
  • trying to flirt with older men
  • what i like to call "sad eyes"
  • Gale Harold, or any guy who resembles him (see: two of my previous crushes)
  • spanking people
  • daydreaming
  • praying
  • having my prayers answered
  • clarity
  • the way my hair makes me feel when it's clean and styled right
  • my room when it's clean
  • deep-sea creatures (the kinds with lights on their heads)
  • pizza with lots of pepper
  • spicy food
  • food when it's piping hot
  • summer rolls
  • saying "fuck it" to chopsticks, and just using my hands
  • going on late-night food runs
  • volunteering
  • eating desserts on my bed
  • halter tops flattering my broad shoulders
  • when my friends are encouraging
  • when my friends have accomplishments
  • when sad songs somehow make me happy
  • lounge music
  • writing something kick-ass on the spot, thus proving how awesome it is to be a creative writer
  • haters (because i know they're thinking about me when i dont give a fuck about them)
  • being terrified of a country western bar when i get there, but ending up having a blast
  • knowing one day i'll make the world a better place
  • being a college graduate
  • random facts
  • the love of god
  • freedom

    make this kind of list for yourself.
    i think it'll make you feel great afterwards.
    you may even have to keep adding things.
    it might take a while though.
    if it doesnt, then you need to work some things out with yourself.

    < /the end>
  • 3 comments|post comment

    i am the best person in the world. [07 Dec 2004|04:11pm]
    [ mood | complacent ]

    well, because i loved the speech so much and i spent so much time on it, i'm going to share it with you all!! :-)

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    virgo: i cant believe how me this is [02 Apr 2002|10:00am]
    [ mood | moody ]

    The Virgin
    August 23 to September 23

    Virgo Traits

    Modest and shy
    Meticulous and reliable
    Practical and diligent
    Intelligent and analytical

    On the dark side....

    Fussy and a worrier
    Overcritical and harsh
    Perfectionist and conservative

    Virgo! About Your Sign...

    Virgo is the only zodiacal sign represented by a female. It is sometimes thought of as a potentially creative girl, delicately lovely; sometimes as a somewhat older woman, intelligent but rather pedantic and spinsterish. The latter impression is sometimes confirmed by the Virgoan preciseness, refinement, fastidious love of cleanliness, hygiene and good order, conventionality and aristocratic attitude of reserve. They are usually observant, shrewd, critically inclined, judicious, patient, practical supporters of the status quo, and tend toward conservatism in all departments of life. On the surface they are emotionally cold, and sometimes this goes deeper, for their habit of suppressing their natural kindness may in the end cause it to atrophy, with the result that they shrink from committing themselves to friendship, make few relationships, and those they do make they are careful to keep superficial.

    But the outward lack of feeling may, in some individuals born under this sign, conceal too much emotion, to which they are afraid of giving way because they do not trust others, nor do they have confidence in themselves and their judgments. This is because they are conscious of certain shortcomings in themselves of worldliness, of practicality, of sophistication and of outgoingness. So they bring the art of self concealment to a high pitch, hiding their apprehensiveness about themselves and their often considerable sympathy with other people under a mantle of matter-of-factness and undemonstrative, quiet reserve. They are still waters that run deep. Yet in their unassuming, outwardly cheerful and agreeable fashion, they can be sensible, discreet, well spoken, wise and witty, with a good understanding of other people's problems which they can tackle with a practicality not always evident in their own personal relationships.

    Both sexes have considerable charm and dignity, which make some male Virgoans appear effeminate when they are not. In marriage they can be genuinely affectionate, making good spouses and parents, but their love making is a perfection of technique rather than the expression of desire, and they must be careful not to mate with a partner whose sex drive requires a passion they cannot match.

    They are intellectually enquiring, methodical and logical, studious and teachable. They combine mental ingenuity with the ability to produce a clear analysis of the most complicated problems. They have an excellent eye for detail but they may be so meticulous that they neglect larger issues. Also, although they are realists, they may slow down projects by being too exact. They are practical with their hands, good technicians and have genuine inventive talents, Thoroughness, hard work and conscientiousness are their hallmarks, and they are such perfectionists that, if things go wrong, they are easily discouraged. Because of their ability to see every angle of a many-sided question, they are unhappy with abstract theorizing. Appreciating the many different points of view as they do, they find philosophical concepts difficult, and they vacillate and have no confidence in any conclusions at which they arrive.

    With these qualities, they are better as subordinates than leaders. Responsibility irks them and they often lack the breadth of strategic vision that a leader needs Virgoans are essentially tacticians, admirable in the attainment of limited objectives. Their self distrust is something they project on to other people and tends to make them exacting employers, though in the demands they make on those under them they temper this attitude with justice. They have potential abilities in the arts, sciences and languages. Language especially they use correctly, clearly, consciously and formally, as grammarians and etymologists rather than for literary interests, yet they are likely to have a good memory for apt quotations. Although they are well suited for careers in machine drawing, surveying and similar occupations, they are better fitted for a job in a library or office than a workshop.

    Their minds are such that they need the stimulus of practical problems to be solved rather than the mere routine or working to set specifications that need no thought. They are careful with money and their interest in statistics makes them excellent bookkeepers and accountants. They also make good editors, physicists and analytical chemists. They may also find success as welfare workers, ministering to those less fortunate than themselves. They can be doctors, nurses, psychologists, teachers, confidential secretaries, technologists, inspectors, musicians, critics, public speakers and writers especially of reference works such as dictionaries and encyclopedias. Both sexes have a deep interest in history, a feature recognized by astrological authorities for at least two hundred years. If they go in for a business career their shrewdness and analytical ingenuity could tempt them into dishonesty, though they usually have enough moral sense to resist temptation. Female Virgoans may find a career in fashion, for they have a flair for dress, in which they can be trend setters. In any profession they choose the natives of this sign readily assimilate new ideas, but always with caution, conserving what they consider worth keeping from the past. They love country life but are unlikely to make good farmers, unless they can contrive to carry out their work without outraging their sense of hygiene and cleanliness.

    Their faults, as is usual with all zodiacal types, are the extremes of their virtues. Fastidious reticence and modesty become old-maidishness and persnicketiness; balanced criticism becomes carping and nagging; and concern for detail becomes overspecialization. Virgoans are liable to indecision in wider issues and this can become chronic, turning molehills of minor difficulties into Himalayas of crisis. Their prudence can become guile and their carefulness, turned in on themselves, can produce worriers and hypochondriacs.

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    virgo: right on! [02 Apr 2002|09:57am]
    [ mood | moody ]


    Case Study: If you are born under this sign, you’re probably tired of the typical stereotypes associated with it: subservient, dreary, timid, repressed. But Virgo...rise up and hold your head high! As the representative of Mutable Earth, one of the most maligned signs in the Zodiac is actually one of the most flexible, ironic, and introspective. Very few words are written on a Virgo's outlook, imagination, and inner spirit--that's because Virgos are so darn hard to figure out! Generally preferring to keep those around them guessing--as opposed to, say, boisterous Leo or chatty Gemini--Virgos can actually range from serene and wistful to assertive and expressive. But they always feel--and think-- intensely beneath their cool exteriors. Perhaps the typecasts stem from Virgo's usual introversion, independence, dark sense of humor and lack of self-importance found in some of the other signs. But the Virgo canvas is infinite and largely unmarked, so if you are born under this captivating sign, cheer up and don't believe the hype--you've got freedom on your side and plenty of options! Make the rules up as you go!

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